Unedited Transcript
Disclaimer: This transcript is a raw, unedited version generated from a live podcast recording. It may contain inaccuracies, transcription errors, or misstatements that do not reflect the intended meaning of the speakers. For clarity and context, we recommend listening to the full audio episode. The views expressed during the conversation are those of the participants and do not necessarily represent the views of Turning Winds.
Transcript Begins Below:
It’s really cool having a conversation with you like this because Yeah. I’m seeing you on campus. And so what brought you there?
Today I am here visiting Turning Winds because I have I have a family member in treatment that has been here for a little over two months now.
And I am up here. Supporting her. And yeah that’s what it really comes down to is like I’m up here seeing her, and what does that feel like to come back and see another journey begin where exactly the place that you were. Oh, that’s, that’s a lot of emotions. It’s hard and it’s amazing at the same time because it’s so sad and it’s almost it’s like a crippling sadness almost having to send somebody my very close to me to treatment.
But it’s also in from my own experience and the own knowledge of my experience, really the best thing and the most exciting thing ever because I know what it can do and I believe that it can do the same thing for her as it did for me, and that’s changed her life completely. Like a 180, completely separate from what it is now or what it was before treatment.
Yeah, and I think what I tend to say a lot when I speak to you, people like you is just, I almost wish that I, had gone through, treatment and because everyone I know who really, whatever that, you know, that we’re working through back then, dealt with it early, are like far ahead of their peers.
And so it’s so interesting for me to, talk to people who are younger, but, in so many ways, much wiser than a lot of people, in their age group. So what are you doing now later? What my life looks like today is similar to what it looked like in treatment.
Just on the other side of it, it’s been like a super big blessing that the same people that kind of did my intervention. Took me to treatment and set me up for success. I’m now working for them. I work for the program that I went through. It’s called Family Centered Services and I do interventions and peer counseling with them.
And then also I’m really like still, I. Really invested in my own recovery. Like my I work a 12 step program outside of this. I have a sponsor in the 12 step program and I get to do those things with him. And my whole life today is trying to give back to people that had to go or are going through things that I had to go through.
You know what I mean? And I’m super lucky that I got to go through those things because the same things that I learned while I was here are the same things that I get to teach other people in my life today. And that’s just like a huge blessing. So my life is like beautiful. I get to travel a lot.
I get to work with a bunch of other people that love to give back, and I get, I have a really amazing relationship with my family. I have honest relationships that I don’t have to take from them. So I can have their love and care and it’s not transactional, and that’s really beautiful. And I’ve got to do just like the most, some of the coolest things that I’ve ever got to experience in my entire life and get to go on really cool trips and get to spend time with people that I care about without, any strings attached.
Sure. Is, was there anything that maybe it was a conversation or a moment in treatment or a tool that was given that you, you reflect on now and maybe apply or maybe share to others who are starting their journey. Yeah, I mean there was tons of those types of conversations of it is.
And the biggest thing that I’ve learned from treatment is our experience is our most powerful tool. And caring for somebody is gonna show up more than trying to tell somebody what to do or just be like, do this, do that. And so I think what I have learned that has been really huge for me and just like a self-awareness for anyone is just I have to live in clarity. I can’t force anybody to have clarity. And that was something that I learned a lot here is ’cause I would hear all these things of people telling me what they thought and what they heard. But there was just a moment when it clicked right. And when that moment clicked for me, I was able to unlock all these new things.
And part of that was honesty. Like I get to live in honest life. That was something that was really hard for me to do before I came here. And they taught me that honesty is not a scary thing, I don’t have to lie to keep myself safe. And so that’s something that I get to share with.
People in my own life and help people be honest with me, and that’s been like probably one of the most beneficial, one of the most beneficial things for my own life. But outside of that is I learned that this what we’re do, what I’m doing today and what I got here is a bunch of people that are getting outside of themselves.
And what I mean by that is. The people, the staff at Turning wins, they’re all here for something bigger than themselves and that’s giving back, right? So today I get to give back and put myself to the side a little bit, if that sounds correct. Like I get to, instead of being all in my selfish little things in my head and all this is all about me, I get to step outside of myself and look at somebody else and help somebody else.
And that’s something that I learned from Turning Winds. That giving is one of the. Best ways to receive, what I’m, do you know what I’m saying? Does that make sense? It does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it, it changes the way that your priest perceive yourself. Certainly. And I think it empowers you and really show that you can go out there and really make positive change which is important.
I think that makes anybody feel good when they go to bed at night going, okay. I think I, I made the world a little better than it was the, the day before. W in your work now, and I think to a lot of people who are listening to this podcast, it’s that belief that change can happen.
I think and you’re, and just being here and talking is a tangible example of that. Yeah. But for the people who are. And to your point, like a little scared they’re doing something that’s making them feel a little uncomfortable, what are the things that you are able to say to them that says, you know what it’s not only gonna be okay, it’s gonna be much, much better.
Yeah. The biggest thing I can say to that is when I stopped running away from all of my problems and trying to hide behind a screen and. Just numb myself outta those problems. When I gave my, when I bought into myself, when I invested in myself and let people invest into me is when I was given the gift of this amazing life, right?
It takes hard work to get these things, but once you just do a little bit, things will start showing up in your life that are. Out of your wildest dreams. If I would’ve went back four years ago, five years ago, and made three wishes for things that I wanted, I would’ve sold myself short, right? Because I could only see five minutes ahead, not five years ahead.
And so my life today is more beautiful than I’ve ever expected because I just took a little bit of time and had faith in myself and tried to let see why people care about me, so I think that like to anybody that maybe is like struggling or scared or nervous about this next step forward, it’s just give yourself the opportunity to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
’cause it’s not closed at the end of the tunnel. That’s, yeah, I think that’s the biggest thing. Yeah. And it’s different waking up in the morning. I know that, for me personally, if I’ve had a stretch of time where I’ve been in bad head, you almost don’t believe you’re gonna wake up in the morning happy.
Yeah. And looking forward to the day as opposed to getting through the day. So is that sort of the way that you feel like you are now when you get up? Yeah. Me and me and my friend. We’re just talking today about how time is so limited today. You know what I mean? And it’s like I’m looking forward to the day, but I’m also looking forward to figuring out how to fit everything in my day.
’cause today my days are so full when before my days were full. Of one thing, and that for me was getting high. Today it’s the complete opposite. Like I’m just trying to make sure that I can see all the people I need to see, get the things done that I need to get done, spend time with my family and still have time to, to rest.
I wish that days were 36 hours instead of 24. That’s, it would be really helpful. But yeah, no, looking forward to the day is definitely a real feeling. Like just being excited for what’s about to come up. Yeah. If you were speaking directly to parents, and those really are primarily the people who are listening to this, what advice would you give them as someone who’s gone through turning wins?
Yeah, as a member of multiple 12 step programs, I can say that to parents that you gotta trust the process and you have to learn what the process is, and part of the process is working on yourself. But also a lot of these things when you’re dealing with mental health or addiction and it’s really scary and it’s really big and it’s consuming.
It’s hard to hear, but you can’t change what you’re, what the person in your life is doing. Like you can change yourself and you can work on yourself, and you can be part of the solution. But you can’t force anyone. And it’s really scary, but it’s possible. My life is amazing. My mom and dad had no relationship with me whatsoever.
I didn’t live at home for good portions of time in my active addiction. And today I spend tons of time with my mom. I get to do weird old people things with my mom. I get to watch the TV with my dad when I never did that before. And it’s so it’s very possible and it’s realistic and it takes time and there isn’t a correct answer.
There isn’t just one finite answer to every sol, like every problem there is. Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I would say to parents. I think I. One of the things that I tend to like to talk about are environments of success, and that’s, it seems a little bit, clinical in some ways, but when you think about your time on campus, what were the sort of different elements that allowed you to begin the journey of where you are now?
It’s huge. The big, one of the big parts about turning wins here is like creating leaders. Like every kid is gonna be a leader by the time they go, and those kids at the end of their stay are taking the new kids on and really helping them a lot. One of the biggest things for me about turning wins that really.
Changed my stay was the connections that I built. The kids that were here a little bit longer were great. I had a lot of really good friendships, kids that I still spend time with today. I just had a friend over that lives across the country from me. I live in Seattle. We flew him out and he stayed with me for a week.
He hasn’t, we haven’t seen each other in years and we’re still connected. But on top of that, the staff connections are so real. Like it’s, the thing that I always felt like when I came into treatment at first and still almost left thinking a little bit was like, these guys are here and they care about me ’cause they’re paid to care about me.
But it’s just being in the position that I am today and doing similar things that the staff are doing here. I know that’s not the case, I have genuine care for the people that I work with. So the thing I’ll say is connection, the staff and me. Of all of the staff pretty much that I was close with.
We still talk. They wanna know what’s up with me. They follow me on Facebook, right? I have Facebook, I’m 19 and that’s weird for a young person, I think. And it’s, but it’s dope. You know what I mean? Like the connections are real and that. Having, knowing that other people cared about me and wanted to see me do good, made me want to do good and live up to their expectations almost, it was encouraging because I was like, okay, if they see this in me, like, why can’t I see this too?
That was a huge thing. Aside from connections and stuff like the Montana is beautiful, like I love it here. I, this is like hopefully one day gonna be my home living here. It’s just sunshine and rainbows. Literally. I was telling, I have a friend that lives in Libby, which is close to where we are, and he.
He grew up there and I was just telling him, I was like, the grass is greener, the trees are taller, and the sun is shinier out here. It is. It really is. It’s something about it. And so it’s just a, it’s just a great place aside from the connections, aside from the, all the awesome stuff we got to do, like doing the international trips and spending time like outside and just like in the nature, like it is just, there’s all aspects of it are cultivating like a healthy environment for people to really grow into themselves.
